You want guests to talk about your wedding for the right reasons. Avoid doing THIS tacky mistake and avoid offending guests before they RSVP. Read on for more and subscribe FREE for the latest to your inbox!
Picture this: You receive a wedding invitation in the mail and the first thing you see is a request for cash instead of gifts. How does that make you feel? Wedding etiquette has evolved over the years, but there’s one controversial topic that has emerged: asking guests for cash gifts instead of traditional wedding registry items. But is it really a good idea?
In this blog post, we’ll dive deeper into the pros and cons of asking for cash gifts, the impact it has on your guests, and alternative options for modern couples.
The Pros and Cons of Asking for Cash Gifts
In the world of modern wedding etiquette, we’ve seen some real doozies: there was the couple who asked for cash on their wedding invitation, the ones who charged a dining fee with their RSVP, and the newlyweds who asked guests to pay towards their honeymoon to unlock a wedding favor, or go home “empty-handed”. Yikes!
► If guests want to give cash, they’ll give it. You don’t need to ask for it.
But here’s the thing: traditional gift registries aren’t used quite as much as they once were, and that’s because many couples have already accumulated things they need together. This may mean you don’t really need a new set of bath towels, bedding, or kitchen gadgets. But that doesn’t necessarily mean you can just outwardly ask for cash.
Of course, cash registries aren’t a bad idea, they’re a smart alternative to the changing modern-day norms. But there’s a clear distinction in having a honeymoon registry – or asking for guests to bring you cash money. ;) Here are some tactful ideas on how to do it right so you don’t offend your guests.
And remember, a gift, no matter how large or small, is meant to be given freely by the giver and shouldn’t be stipulated by the recipient.
Let’s discuss pros and cons of asking for monetary presents from your wedding guests.
Pros
Cash registries are a modern convenience, as guests can contribute to your honeymoon fund, future goals, or help to defer some of the costs of the wedding celebration.
Cons
There is a social stigma and awkwardness of asking for cash, no matter what the event or occasion may be.
The lack of personalization for guests in gifting just money will make them feel like their gift is not valued.
The Impact on Guests: Do’s and Dont’s
Consider it from a guest’s perspective. Would you like to be asked for money before you’re even provided a RSVP to the event? Probably not. You don’t want to start your marriage off by pressuring guests to contribute financially, or offend them, and this may have an impact on your relationships. So, here’s how to tactfully request a cash registry alternative to your guests.
Alternative Options for Modern Couples
Here’s the tactful way to have a wedding registry – and how to share the gift list with your guests, whether tangible items or cash.
Create a Minimum of Two Registry Lists
1. Gifts
You should create one registry which contains actual gifts. Surely, you could use a fresh set of towels, some new pillows, or a fresh update to your dinnerware. Don’t just add items to a registry for the sake of doing so, but add items you could actually use. The best place to make a registry is Amazon, since many guests already shop on the mega store and their registry is easy to use. Create your registry here for free.
(NEED IDEAS TO ADD TO YOUR REGISTRY? READ: The Top 100 Wedding Registry Items on Amazon.)
2. Money/Experiences/Honeymoon
Next, you’ll create an alternative registry, like a honeymoon registry or cash registry. Honeyfund is the best cash registry option, since it has no fees (unlike the others).
Where to Share Your Wedding Registry
This is the most important part: Don’t list your wedding registry on your wedding invitations! There is only one tactful place to share your wedding registry, and it is on your wedding website under the ‘Registry’ tab.
You can include a link or QR code on an invitation enclosure card that asks guests to visit your wedding website for more details, but it should never mention gifts, cash, or anything of the sort for any reason. Here’s an example of a details card (via Minted):
Guests, if they wish to give a gift, will find the link and decide what they wish to give, freely and without pressure.
Conclusion
Remember, giving a gift should be done freely. Making the decision to have a gift registry and a cash registry is a good idea, especially in this modern era, but it’s important to follow certain etiquette guidelines to avoid offending or insulting your guests. Ultimately, the decision is up to you on whether you wish to ask guests for gifts of cash only. But remember, a wedding is about celebrating the love you have for one another – not about material gifts.
So, I’m curious to know: are YOU having a cash registry, a traditional gift registry, or a mix of the two? Tell me in the comment box below.
Hope it helps!
xo
Emma
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Emma Arendoski
Emma is the CEO of Emmaline Bride, The Handmade Wedding Blog, published author, leading wedding expert, and wedding planner. Read her latest book: The Inspired Wedding. Wife, mother, coffee lover. Follow on Instagram and at Emmaline Baby for baby + kids inspiration.
